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This morning, I ran into Elpenor on the way to Odysseus' tent. Actually, he sort of ran into me. He must have known where I was headed. That sorry guy is such a kiss-ass.

I was just delivering some supply papers, and as I didn't feel like hiking across the encampment, I gave them to him. I told him that they were very sensitive, and that he shouldn't stop or talk to anyone on the way. This made Elpenor perk up like a homely girl asked to dance. After accepted the papers in an exaggerated military form, he strutted off like he was the head of some goddamned parade. Although I was just being lazy, it kind of made me feel like I had done a good deed.

Anyway, Polites ran into Elpenor while he was enroute. Polites loves giving Elpenor a hard time. I guess he pulled rank and asked the lieutenant to stop. This must have of broke the guy's brain, because Polites told me that Elpenor just kind of whimpered and bolted.

Polites thought that he might have diarrhea.

The saddest thing, is that Odysseus came up to me after the General's meeting tonight and asked that I don't send Elpenor to his tent anymore. I guess that he showed up all sweaty and freaked out. Odysseus asked him what he had brought, but as one of his ladies was in the room, Elpenor just stood frozen and Odysseus had to pull the papers from his hand.

Odysseus then asked if I thought we should transfer Elpenor. -That poor bastard.

2 Comments:

Anonymous jan said...

What a totally clever idea. Homer would like it.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:44 AM  

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