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Odysseus and I had a long chat today.

It is rare that the General drops his airs and talks causally, but he did tonight. -I think that he is feeling restless or something.

After dinner, Odysseus stopped by my tent and said that he wanted to dictate another letter to Penelope. He never finished it. I still have it here.

Dearest Penelope,

Your General misses you a bunch. How is my boy Telemachus? Tell him that his father misses him a bunch. The siege on Troy is going good. This siege has gone on too long. What day is it? How are my dogs doing? I miss them a bunch.

-At that point he just gave up.

I asked Odysseus if there was something that I could do for him.

After a silence, he slammed his hand onto my desk and asked: “Eurylochus, what the hell am I doing?”

“Sir?” I replied.

He went on: “I mean, here we are, attacking Troy. -Building a wooden horse to attack Troy. Troy, Eurylochus! This is fucking Troy! We are fucking Ithacans!”

I didn’t know what to say.

Odysseus just looked at me for a couple of minutes. He then nodded and said: “I know, I know. It’s because we’re soldiers. Isn’t it?”

“I guess so, Sir.” I replied.

With that, Odysseus smiled. He then walked over and sat down on my bed. He asked me how I was doing, and I told him that I was doing well. Odysseus then started reminiscing about his farm, his dogs, and our days back at the Academy.

It was nice to hear about things familiar and nostalgic, and we had a good talk that went late into the evening. -The General left just a few minutes ago.

Anyway, I guess that even Odysseus has his moments of doubt.

I don’t expect to see another anytime soon.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The *Academy*? Hello, anachronism?

6:33 AM  
Anonymous sween said...

Oh my god.

Here is a post with the brilliance to have the line

"I mean, here we are, attacking Troy. -Building a wooden horse to attack Troy. Troy, Eurylochus! This is fucking Troy! We are fucking Ithacans!"

and we're worrying about freaking anachronisms.

I would wear a T-shirt that said "We are fucking Ithacans!".

This is genius. Keep it up.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, so maybe Plato started the 1st "Academy". Still, I think that we can assume the Ithacans had some kind of military school or boot camp.

Keep it up Eurylochus!

I want a T-shirt too!

7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There were two guys called "Ajax", but here there seem to be hundreds called "anonymous". I'm not either of the other two.

"Academy" is indeed an anachronism (Plato founding it around 380 something). It was also a school for philosophers, not soldiers.

But Homer is full of anachronisms. I think it's a joke, yeah?

Anyway, I love this blog. I really like the subversive retellings. Especially the story of Patrochlus' death. Are we going to find out why he was wearing Achilles' armor?

Excellent stuff.

4:23 AM  

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