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Good fun.

Today started with a big breakfast feast and some announcements from Agamemnon that kicked off the Patroclus Honor Games.

Even though everyone knows these games are just a way to kiss Achilles ass and thank him for coming back, the entire army is very happy about it. -However, it’s strange. Although Achilles wanted these games, he isn’t competing in them.

Anyway, there were a handful of events today, everything from swimming to chariot racing.

The most entertaining competition of the day was the javelin throw. -This was because there were only two entrants: King Agamemnon and a lieutenant named Stentor.

Apparently, Stentor was the first to sign up for the event. Unfortunately for Stentor, Agamemnon was the second.

As no one in their right mind would willingly compete against the Commander-in-Chief, Agamemnon’s was the last name on the list.

It was hilarious.

The javelin toss was the first event scheduled, and nearly the entire army was watching.

Diomedes started it off with a very ceremonial announcement.

He said something like: “The first event of the Patroclus Honor Games is to be The Throwing of the Javelin! To take part in this honorable competition we have Agamemnon, King of Argos, Commander of the Achaeans! …As his opponent, lieutenant Stentor …of the Arcadians!

The men went wild. Many were cheering. Many were laughing.

Straws were drawn and Agamemnon had the first toss. It was pathetic. Although the Commander-in-Chief's javelin went straight and stuck into the ground, it couldn’t have gone more than fifteen meters.

Stentor’s problem was immediately obvious. It would be suicide to beat the Commander. However, Agamemnon had made it hard to lose.

As Stentor stepped up, the army fell silent.

When Stentor was handed his spear, Polites yelled: “Kick ass, lieutenant!”

Stentor winced. He took a few shaky steps, and he threw. -Stentor’s javelin fell just a few centimeters behind Agamemnon’s.

Diomedes immediately shouted: “Agamemnon, King of Argos, Commander of the Achaeans, is our Champion of the Javelin!

At that, the Commander-in-Chief yelled: “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

The crowd went wild again.

Stentor smiled meekly. -He looked a bit pale.

Anyway, there were several other events held today including archery, running, discus and the chariot race.

Meriones won the archery contest. Teucer came in second place.

Odysseus won the foot race. I have to say, the General is very fast on his feet. Something like fifty guys entered, and it wasn’t even close. You could tell that Odysseus was very pleased. He won a goat and named it Hermes. -Apparently, no one is allowed to eat Hermes.

Nestor didn’t ride in the chariot race. -Diomedes won it.

Polites got third place in discus. -They gave him a duck. We had it for dinner.

Odysseus and Hermes stopped by our fire tonight. He was in good spirits, and both he and Hermes drank a lot of wine.

Tomorrow is wrestling and boxing. -Those events should be interesting.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Norman said...

A goat named Hermes... who drinks heavily... wow, lol

10:03 AM  
Blogger Saradevil said...

No one is allowed to eat hermes...that is fantastic...I'm glued to me seat and can't wait to see what will happen next....

7:04 PM  
Blogger chilipadicello said...

BRILLIANT!! i couldn't stop laughing for a few minutes.

5:53 PM  

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