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I decided to write Odysseus’ letter to Penelope today.

Dearest Penelope,

Your General is now leading a venture to get Achilles’ son Neoptolemus from the island of Scyros. It is a perilous task. In the meantime, I have left the Ithacans under the charge of Captain Eurylochus, who is quite capable. Do not worry, my trip will not take too long. Your General will soon return to the Trojan shores to finish this siege. I have told you that I expect to see you soon. That is still true. Say hello to my dogs, and to my good son Telemachus.

Your General,

Odysseus

I’d like to do Odysseus some justice. However, I had to keep the letter somewhat juvenile and egocentric in order to make it believable. -After transcribing so many, I think I’ve mastered his style.

The part about me was my fee.

I ran into Euryalus after dinner. Actually, he wandered over to where I was eating. -Now that Polites is gone, I think he is a little bored.

We talked for a while, and I realized that he isn’t such a bad guy. However, I think we have very different senses of humor.

Euryalus kept saying: “Have I told you about the Calydonian Boar?!” in this impersonation of Nestor that was spot on, but only funny the first time I heard it.

He asked if I wanted to go to that swimming hole tomorrow, and I said I would.

Now I kind of wish I hadn’t.