οδ′

I got in a fist-fight today.

Just after lunch, I went to the outskirts of camp to meet Euryalus.

Although I had thought about inviting Misenus or Macar to go swimming, I decided to go by myself.

Unfortunately, Euryalus brought Sthenelus with him.

When the three of us arrived, a crowd of Ithacan and Cretan soldiers were gathered around the hole, watching a small group of guys taking turns diving in. -One of the bystanders was the guy that had told Polites about the place.

Most of the men were infantry, but a few of those in line were Cretan captains.

It was wavy today, and the surf that fed the cavernous deep hole was making the waters rise and fall somewhat violently.

As we walked up, the bravest souls were taking turns diving into the churning waters, cheered on by those who possessed more common sense.

Diving into the swimming hole was a bit hairy. When the water was at its lowest point, it was probably a bit too shallow to enter head first. Therefore, it was important to time the dive so as to hit the water as it was rising.

Furthermore, once in, the violent waters made for a difficult escape. In fact, just as we walked up, the last diver rolled out of the hole, reveling in the humor of a freshly-skinned shin.

The Cretan captains were pretty pleased with themselves, and seeing us, they graciously invited us to join the cue.

I really didn’t want any part of it. However, as Sthenelus started shit-talking with the Cretans immediately, backing out would have looked really bad. -As there were Ithacans present, I had little choice. (Is that why Odysseus acts so stupid?)

Anyway, just as we stepped in line, a few local women walked up.

Predictably, the shit-talking amplified.

Before we had even jumped in, Sthenelus volunteered to do it with his eyes closed.

To his credit, he did.

Thankfully, I went before Sthenelus, and therefore, my carefully-timed jump appeared adequately dangerous.

Unfortunately, Euryalus wasn’t so lucky.

Euryalus was to jump after Sthenelus. However, inspired by Sthenelus’ idiotic bravado, a Cretan captain rushed before Euryalus, flipping in backwards.

As the Cretan emerged unscathed, it became Euryalus’ duty to one-up him.

With the men urging him on, and the women urging him not to, Euryalus had no options. -He had to do something completely idiotic.

To his credit, he did.

After thinking about it for a minute, Euryalus walked about ten paces away from the mouth of the hole. Then, rather dramatically, Euryalus removed his belt, and fastened it around his face.

“Mother of Zeus!” shouted Sthenelus.

“Noooooo!” shouted the women.

But he did.

Euryalus charged blindfolded towards the hole. And, with near perfect aim, Euryalus leapt headlong into the churning waters below. -He climbed out without a scratch.

The men went nuts.

In moments, Euryalus was on the shoulders of the Ithacans, surrounded by cheering soldiers and admiring women.

That is, until a Cretan captain shouted: “Apollo’s ass! -He could see!”

Without bothering to retort, Sthenelus strode up to the captain, and punched him hard in the nose. -Chaos ensued.

Within moments, a battle erupted, with sides quickly drawn between Ithacan and Cretan lines. -Euryalus and Sthenelus allied with us Ithacans, of course.

Although it was below my station to take part, given the circumstances, I had to make a good showing. Besides, a wiry Cretan immediately singled me out, and punched me square in the back of the head.

Thankfully, after a struggle, I was able to swing this guy into the swimming hole. -That was satisfyingly dramatic.

Unfortunately, that was the high point of the fight. Us Ithacans were out numbered almost two-to-one, and my next opponent was much larger.

It wasn’t long before the lot of us were eating dirt.

However, the Cretans were honorable, and no one was beaten long past submission.

As we hobbled back to camp, our small troupe had a good laugh about our sorry defeat. I was praised for my dramatic Cretan toss, and Sthenelus for his reckless bravado.

We all pressed Euryalus about his insane stunt.

He swears he couldn’t see a thing.

I am not sure if the fight was a good or bad thing. There’s no doubt it wasn't good for my nose and ribs, however, I think it earned me a measure of respect among the men.

In any case, it sure felt good tossing that Cretan.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back!

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's no stoppin'
them Cretans from hoppin'
You gotta keep it beatin'
For all the hoppin' Cretans

Wooo! Go Eurylochus!

2:48 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home